Have you ever start your blog post when you had a great idea but halfway through, you lost your train of thought and suddenly your post doesn’t make sense anymore ?
Yep, happens to me all the time.
I don’t know why, i have this amazing idea to write something out and such but somehow after time it’s not so amazing. Am I just not that creative anymore ? Or was I EVER creative ? I see all these posts and articles that inspires me but somehow when I put my inspiration to words it turns horrible.
How do I become a journalist if this kind of thing happens to me ? I think I’ve lost my touch.
I need tips and to probably write more even though it’s not amazing.
“I love you.” he said with all his heart and soul as he caress her cheek. She kissed his forehead and smiled ever so gently and he knew, she loves him too.
In all his life, he never knew he would find someone like her. So gentle and caring yet so fierce and headstrong. He loved every inch of her; from her long, silky mane to her tiny cute toes. But most importantly, he loved her for who she is on the inside.
‘What else would I want ?’ he thought to himself till that day when he found out, she cheated on him.
Furious and blinded with rage, he blamed it all on her. He called her names.
All the rage in the world couldn’t cover the hurt and betrayal he felt and his voice cracked as he kept repeating those words. To convinced himself, ‘I didn’t do anything wrong. It was all HER.’ and yet, WHY ? Why can’t he convince himself ? No matter how hard he tried, he can’t.
With his thoughts swirling uncontrollably and his heart aching, he gave up. He broke down and sobbed quietly but with each passing minute, his sobs turned into wails and he couldn’t stop. He bawled his eyes out, curled up on the floor with all her pictures torn and her smiling face was left with nothing but bits and pieces, scattered everywhere.
He was broken.
I guess you can say I grew out of it, those feelings of mine. I honestly thought I’d never let go. Keeping it till that one day arrives. But in truth, it will never come because if it does, maybe it’s not meant for me. The quote;
“Sometimes the person you want the most, is the person you’re best without”
It’s true because he is whom I’ve always wanted. He is whom I’ve dreamt of, my knight and shinning armour. But he is NOT who I expected to be. Because he did not made me feel like I’m the only one who he thinks about when he goes to sleep. He had other girls who he’s after and he had made it clear that his ex was his so-called “secret” partner. I’ve always knew something was off with their relationship because, if they had honestly left each other, would they still be talking as if nothing happened ? Would they still be “hanging out” at her place 3 nights a week ?
If he was who I’m supposed to be with for this moment, or for a lifetime, then why did he come at the wrong time ? Why did he strut into my life as if I’m the one for him but ended up hurting others ? I guess life isn’t fair sometimes.
To him, I was the butterfly. I was the odd one out in that whole swarm of moths. OR so he says. Maybe I was just someone who hit home in that National Service Training Program that we all was picked for.
To me, he was just an ordinary guy. Till I got to know his façade, then he was my knight and shinning armour. But once I knew the real him, he wasn’t it. Although, I thought I was “infatuated” by him but, no.
So why am I typing this out and posting it ? Because I’m honestly happy that I’ve gotten over my “infatuation” towards him. I am happily with someone who I can love and trust with all my heart. Someone who makes me truly happy and is really my knight and shinning armour. Is he really ? Well, that’s another story for another time 😉
Thanks for reading !
Lately, I have no idea what to blog about. I mean, I have so much things to say and just need to type it out but when I start to blog, no words would come out. I’m sad keeping it all inside with no one to talk to and no words would come out even if I wanted to talk or type. I really have no idea what’s going on with me. Why am I acting/feeling this way ?
I feel tortured.