I guess you can say I grew out of it, those feelings of mine. I honestly thought I’d never let go. Keeping it till that one day arrives. But in truth, it will never come because if it does, maybe it’s not meant for me. The quote;
“Sometimes the person you want the most, is the person you’re best without”
It’s true because he is whom I’ve always wanted. He is whom I’ve dreamt of, my knight and shinning armour. But he is NOT who I expected to be. Because he did not made me feel like I’m the only one who he thinks about when he goes to sleep. He had other girls who he’s after and he had made it clear that his ex was his so-called “secret” partner. I’ve always knew something was off with their relationship because, if they had honestly left each other, would they still be talking as if nothing happened ? Would they still be “hanging out” at her place 3 nights a week ?
If he was who I’m supposed to be with for this moment, or for a lifetime, then why did he come at the wrong time ? Why did he strut into my life as if I’m the one for him but ended up hurting others ? I guess life isn’t fair sometimes.
To him, I was the butterfly. I was the odd one out in that whole swarm of moths. OR so he says. Maybe I was just someone who hit home in that National Service Training Program that we all was picked for.
To me, he was just an ordinary guy. Till I got to know his façade, then he was my knight and shinning armour. But once I knew the real him, he wasn’t it. Although, I thought I was “infatuated” by him but, no.
So why am I typing this out and posting it ? Because I’m honestly happy that I’ve gotten over my “infatuation” towards him. I am happily with someone who I can love and trust with all my heart. Someone who makes me truly happy and is really my knight and shinning armour. Is he really ? Well, that’s another story for another time 😉
Thanks for reading !